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throat, hollering to be released. Why do you have to stick your head into
peoples business and play God with your theology?
She looked at me crazy. You re dating her! I thought you would ve been
happy-
HAPPY?!?! I screeched, too loud. For a moment the lunchroom grew quiet;
Destiny s face was glossed a beet red. When things returned to normal, I hunched
over the table and snarled, Now why in the world would I be happy?
I only have Jena s best interests in mind-
I opened my mouth.
Please. Let me finish, okay? I know how hard abuse can be, and I just wanted
people to pray for her so she could cope well.
You know how hard abuse is? I asked. You don t know anything about
abuse.
I can imagine.
No, I said, you can t. And stop acting, for the love of God, like you care
about these people when you re just using your prayer as a way to gossip. It
sickens the #&@% out of me.
She looked horrified. God doesn t like cussing-
Listen to me! I shouted. Stop trying to change the subject!
I m only interested in her well-being. Jesus tells us to care for those who are
mourning-
But you don t care about her! How do you care for someone by spreading the
secrets, the past, that they want to forget?
You re reading me wrong-
Anthony Barnhart
Flowers Quickly Fading 120
#%$& it, Destiny! It was at this point that I decided to let Jena take over.
She d told me exactly what she and I wanted Destiny to hear. What the
$%#& is the matter with you?! How the $#%& can you go about doing this,
acting like this, and calling yourself a Christian?! Do you know NOTHING about
Jesus??? You re the biggest #$@&$%& hypocrite and everyone is sick and tired
of it! All you do is throw out your rules and tell people how much they re messing
up! You point out everyone s failures like you re some &$%%@#$ goddess who
has the world figured out and you act like you re the queen of perfection& As I
wrenched out of my seat, I hollered, $&%# you!
The cafeteria was eerily quiet and I stormed away, propelled by anger.
Destiny was left in the seat, ashen-faced. Most of the lunchroom was smiling.
Principal Weaver grabbed me in the hallway and dragged me into his office. He
sat me down in a chair and shut the door. He stood before a mirror and
straightened his tie, then said without facing me, Everyone in the school heard
what you said.
I m sorry, I lied.
No, he said. You re not. He turned around.
Am I getting suspended? I glowered.
You should be, the principal told me. The words you yelled out, the way you
treated that girl. You should be.
But you re not?
No, he said. No. Why? Because you re right. Because I know Destiny and
I ve seen how she treats people, how she puts on a mask of piousness, thinks
she s doing God s will and all. I ve read all the Gospels. I think Jesus is
absolutely beautiful. The only reason I m not a Christian is because of the kind of
people lots of Christians are. I like to model Jesus teachings as much as I can, but
I don t& I don t want to be associated with people like her. He sat down behind
his desk. I think it was Gandhi who said, I really like you re Christ. I love
you re Christ, and someone asked him because he s Islamic or Buddhist or
Hindu or whatever Then why aren t you a Christian? Do you know what he
told the guy? He said, I love you re Christ. But you Christians are nothing like
your Christ.
He let his words sink in, then continued. I know what Jena has done. I ve heard
the rumors about Hope and Alex and their parents called and I had to explain to
Anthony Barnhart
Flowers Quickly Fading 121
them that it was just a rumor, and thankfully now it s squashed. And now she s
doing it again with Jena& Your girlfriend?
I nodded.
She s a terrific student, she really is. I know about what happened in the
household. The police told me, in case anything& happened here at school. I
haven t told anyone. I don t know how Destiny found out. I don t care how
Destiny found out.
She really hurt Jena, I told Principal Weaver. She s trying to forget this-
I know, he said. By law, we can t do anything to Destiny. It s freedom of
speech.
She s spreading lies!
I m sorry. This isn t a lie.
I wanted to curse him now.
He comforted, By seventh period, everyone is going to know about what you
did. Every word you spoke and every word she spoke is going to be common
knowledge. Jena won t be treated bad at all. People will be drawn away from the
rumor to the person who started the rumor.
I wasn t completely satisfied.
I know you want me to do something to Destiny. I can t. But I m not punishing
you, when I should. I think you re a wonderful student and I think Jena needs
someone like you. I m not going to attach the stigmata of troublemaker to you by
putting you on suspension. Just leave here and go about the rest of the year in
peace, okay?
Sure enough, Weaver was right, and the entire school knew. Destiny was publicly
shamed.
Alex caught me and said, Whoa. What s this I hear about the lunchroom?
Don t worry about it, I told him.
Did you mention my name?
No. And no one would care anyways.
He said, All right. You could ve been a little more subtle, though, he said
with a smile.
Really? I asked. This coming from a victim of her little ploys?
Jesus just says to forgive and be gentle. But then, these are my values, not
yours. Forgive me for throwing them at you. I m sorry.
You re turning into Destiny, I mocked with a wan grin.
Anthony Barnhart
Flowers Quickly Fading 122
Alex threw up his hands. Dear God, no!
Jena bounded over from her locker. Students kept telling her they were sorry for
what Destiny did. Now Jena leaned against me and said, You ready to go?
Where are you guys going? Alex asked. Another date?
Olive Garden, I said.
Jena chimed in, We skipped lunch.
Alex said, Hope and I are going to the park. We should double-date
sometime?
I didn t think it was a good idea, so I declined.
All right, he said. See you guys later.
As Jena and I walked out to the parking lot throbbing with students in cars and
busses, Jena leaned over and whispered into my ear, Thank you. And she gave
me a little peck on the cheek.
It wasn t crowded at all inside the restaurant; we were shown to our seats and
given a big bowl of salad with breadsticks. We sat next to the table where I had
sat the first time I ever came here with the family. It made the moment& a little
more romantic somehow.
So you leveled Destiny down pretty bad, huh? Jena asked, picking through
her salad.
Yeah. I kind of feel bad, though& It s just& I exploded on her.
Well. She needed it. Do you want some salad?
No. I ll take a breadstick, though.
We made small talk before the waiter came and took our order.
Have you decided where you re going to college yet? she asked me.
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